Whose Legacy? Thoughts from OUR Garden…

We’ve had a real heat wave here in Indiana this summer. Due to retirement last fall, I’ve seen more sun and experienced the heat first hand while enjoying a lush garden and just being outdoors in general. But with the heat and lack of precipitation, watering has become a regular thing and it just takes as long as it takes. I really don’t mind that particular task, as I find it very therapeutic and it gives me an “excuse” for contemplation, prayer and praise.

It was one such morning last week that I began to think back to when I first found this little “farmette”consisting of an older farmhouse, four acres, and a beautiful hip roof barn wrapped in red metal. It had been a search of about 7 months before I found a property that met all my criteria and that I could actually afford. I was elated and thankful to the Father that everything had finally fallen into place for ME to own this little homestead. But little did I know my new adventure was pointing me towards a major spiritual paradigm shift.

I’ve had a lot of help developing this property in the last 4 years. I have two grown sons who have contributed to barn cleanout, fencing, gardening, drywall repair, etc. But the biggest contributor to the project has been my spiritual friend/brother/soulmate that I now call husband. When we first began brainstorming and envisioning projects, I must admit that I thought it was such a blessing to have someone with a similar passion willing to help me with MY goals and dreams. We had discovered that we worked very well together, and I was more than happy to defer to his experience in the areas of gardening and farming…for the most part. This is where some challenges began to crop up, bringing about that paradigm shift I mentioned earlier.

My old mind set, as an independent working woman, was to take full responsibility for “my” decisions and investment. I did give Yah thanks for answering prayers for a little place in the country that I could share with my family, but years of being single due to divorce had turned me into a “take charge” kinda gal. After all, momma had always told me, “You can do this!” But in the midst of the process, I was also learning deeper scriptural truths about headship, patriarchy, and submissiveness. In my times of introspection, study and prayer, I began to see how my attitude may have contributed to the failure of my first marriage. I also became more sensitive and knowledgeable about men in general, and began to seek change in how I related to my current husband.

I recently read an article by a blogger that, at first reading really set me back. It was titled “Does His Happiness Matter More Than Mine?” My first reaction was “of course not!” But the Spirit began to work in me, revealing the truth contained in the words of the article. If I truly believed that obedience to Messiah is manifested by my reverence and obedience to my husband, then I seriously had to re-think that response. After all, I am HIS help meet, not the other way around! Now granted, he is a wonderful man that helps me in so many ways, but that is because he takes husbandry seriously. So rather than focusing on my plans and goals, I’m asking the Father to teach me to focus on his. I am beginning to see that my legacy should not be about my personal accomplishments, but how I respected and served him in obedience to Messiah. It should be how I loved and taught my children and grandchildren, and how I served others in addition to my family. I am also beginning to understand that although my name may be on the mortgage, I need to diligently water and care for OUR garden and listen to his direction in the management of this household in general. I really believe to do so is pleasing to Yeshua and builds up the name and reputation of the Godly man that He has placed over me.

Martin Madan Explains Ruth 4:6

When the Reverend Martin Madan wrote the first volume of his seminal work, Thelypthora, he took the time to consider the case of Boaz and the kinsman who was nearer to Ruth than he was. This is recorded in Ruth chapter four. He offers a succinct and common-sense analysis of why the kinsman refused. Let’s read Ruth 4:1-12 (NASB).

Now Boaz went up to the gate and sat down there, and behold, the close relative of whom Boaz spoke was passing by, so he said, “Turn aside, friend, sit down here.” And he turned aside and sat down. He took ten men of the elders of the city and said, “Sit down here.” So they sat down. Then he said to the closest relative, “Naomi, who has come back from the land of Moab, has to sell the piece of land which belonged to our brother Elimelech. So I thought to inform you, saying, ‘Buy it before those who are sitting here, and before the elders of my people. If you will redeem it, redeem it; but if not, tell me that I may know; for there is no one but you to redeem it, and I am after you.’” And he said, “I will redeem it.” Then Boaz said, “On the day you buy the field from the hand of Naomi, you must also acquire Ruth the Moabitess, the widow of the deceased, in order to raise up the name of the deceased on his inheritance.” The closest relative said, “I cannot redeem it for myself, because I would jeopardize my own inheritance. Redeem it for yourself; you may have my right of redemption, for I cannot redeem it.” Now this was the custom in former times in Israel concerning the redemption and the exchange of land to confirm any matter: a man removed his sandal and gave it to another; and this was the manner of attestation in Israel. So the closest relative said to Boaz, “Buy it for yourself.” And he removed his sandal. Then Boaz said to the elders and all the people, “You are witnesses today that I have bought from the hand of Naomi all that belonged to Elimelech and all that belonged to Chilion and Mahlon. 10 Moreover, I have acquired Ruth the Moabitess, the widow of Mahlon, to be my wife in order to raise up the name of the deceased on his inheritance, so that the name of the deceased will not be cut off from his brothers or from the court of his birth place; you are witnesses today.” 11 All the people who were in the court, and the elders, said, “We are witnesses. May the Lord make the woman who is coming into your home like Rachel and Leah, both of whom built the house of Israel; and may you achieve wealth in Ephrathah and become famous in Bethlehem. 12 Moreover, may your house be like the house of Perez whom Tamar bore to Judah, through the offspring which the Lord will give you by this young woman.”

Ruth 4:1-12 NASB
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The “Thlibo” Path of Polygyny Marriage as a Positive

A common objection thrown up by those who argue against Biblical polygyny is the fact that in Biblical polygynous families, we see a lot of family difficulties and sometimes, outright pain. Setting aside the equally common rebuttal that in monogamous families, we see the same kind of pain, there’s something about the difficulties that polygynous families experience that naysayers are not considering, and quite possibly that’s due to a monogamy-only translator bias, as well as the all-too-human reflexive avoidance of pain.

Before we go into the weeds with the Greek-to-English translations, I want to note that a recent story broke about when a Tanzanian miner became an overnight millionaire when he sold two of the largest chunks of Tanzanite ever found in that African country. The BBC article that reported the find also mentioned that the miner had 4 wives and 30 children. The Fox News article that reported the same story linked to the same BBC article mentioned the 30 children but was silent on the 4 wives. This is an excellent current example of how discomfort with polygyny will lead to suppression of relevant facts.

Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.

Matthew 7:13-14 KJV
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Marriage Laws – A Brief Survey of Changes in Modern America

From the colonial period to the second decade of the twenty-first century in the United States of America, marriage has been the subject of legislation and court decisions. Specifically, the question that I am exploring herein is how statutes and court decisions define or permit “who can marry whom?” The following is not intended to be a detailed overview of more than four centuries of history. Undoubtedly, there exist monographs and books written on this topic and the interested reader can search them out. I did a search through DuckDuckGo on “history American marriage laws”, which returned several hits. The first sites, including Wikipedia, contained some information about the changes in American law since the colonial period and several things jumped out at me and that’s what I want to discuss. The reader is warned that this might be “getting into the weeds” somewhat, but the overall trend addressing “who can marry whom?” is what I’m interested in sharing with you.

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Marriage Laws – What YHVH Has Said

In the opening article in my new “Marriage Laws” series, I made the proposition that Yeshua clearly said that some things belong to YHVH only, and that marriage is one of those things that YHVH has reserved to Himself, and not given to Caesar (the government) to legislate. In forthcoming articles, I will explore how “Caesar” in America and other societies in the past has arrogated to himself the power to regulate marriage. In this second article, I am going to answer the question of what YHVH has said about marriage. It turns out that He has said a great deal, and nowhere has He said that Israel’s rulers have any legal jurisdiction on this topic. If they don’t, how much less jurisdiction do the nations have?

We will begin at the beginning during Creation Week in which we are going to analyze what He said and did through the aftermath of the Fall. Later, we will discuss what He put into the Sinai Covenant and the related statutes and judgments in Leviticus and Deuteronomy.

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Letters to my Sister Wife

April 7th , 2020 Tuesday 

To My Dear Sister Wife,

I decided to start writing down my journey from where I am right now in my life, to mine and Matthew’s end goal. The finish line if you will, where we find you. It is when God brings you to us. This process is not an overnight occurrence. This journal will be day by day, month by month journey. If God only has us on this journey to open our eyes to what His word says, to dig deeper into His word, to show others, God, through our life, then these letters will only be a journal for me. From where I started to where I am in the future. I pray maybe, I can also help shine a light for someone else and be of encouragement. 

Love, Jessie

Click here to see all entries in Jessie’s Journal.

The Journey Begins, Pathway to Sisterhood

Introduction 

About me: I am a 1st wife who is about to embark on opening up my heart to plural marriage. I am fully submitted to God’s leading in my husband’s life as we move towards our search for a second wife. I was not brought up embracing this kind of lifestyle. I was not exposed to it even in the church. Imagine that.  Those stories are never told. I grew up as an Independent Fundamental Baptist and my family and I still currently attend the same kind of church. Only 2 years ago God opened the door to polygyny in my heart and mind; He hasn’t closed it since. Full disclosure – I have tried to close it many times with everything I can muster.

It wasn’t until the beginning of this year 2020, God had really placed this upon my Husband, Matthew’s heart and oh boy, I was NOT ready for this kind of news, nor was I even on the same page anymore. I didn’t realize what a traumatic toll it was going to take on me. Where before it was nice, happy thoughts we “joked” about often, especially, when I could have used an extra hand. I mentally CHECKED OUT! In reality it was my worst nightmare. Freddy Krueger’s Nightmare on Elm Street had nothing on this. I’d have willingly checked into one of the hotels there and could have had a semi decent life running from deaths door at this point. I could even go as far as to say I think I wanted to be done with religion all together, maybe become atheist, try my best to avoid God and avoid this topic all together. It got real and it got really scary, pretty quick. 

It wasn’t until I had many purposeful, tearful, sometimes angry talks with God that He told me this was His will, not Matthew’s. Matthew was just following what his purpose was, as he walks in faith daily and seeks out the truths in scripture. He told me to learn to temper myself and even though anger and fear was a normal human reaction of the flesh He wanted me to “Be still and know that I am God.” In time many scriptures continued to flood my soul. What are you wanting Lord? Why this? Why NOW? I have only had monogamous relationships, grew up learning monogamy was the only and correct way. I am almost 40 and Lord this seems silly for ME. Why me? And the only answer I ever get to these questions are the fact that we are His Elite. Let that sink in. How beautiful that is. 

 I had no one to lean on and no community to help me embrace this journey. I felt so alone. I just wanted a friend that I could connect with so badly. I needed prayer, I needed encouragement. There were times I needed a shoulder to cry on and even more times that I needed another Godly individual to tell me I wasn’t crazy to go through with this. 

God eventually allowed me to find the friends many of which have come to my aid through divine appointments. But before that came about, he purposefully had me alone for a short season while he spent a lot of one on one time with me. Teaching me to trust him, trust the truth, and trust his will. During my solo journey I dug deeper into scriptures and questioned my own reasoning. I always returned to a place of spiritual grounding. Each time, I had to fight my flesh, fight the enemy, and walk through fire. I eventually came to a place of peace. I’m calling this time in my life “1st wife in training”. I have not received my diploma just yet. I am still in my season of training.  

God put it in my heart to start writing. This is my journey. God’s will be done. Not my own.  

I aim to write down my training and my journey to help more women just like myself. Are you in your own season of struggling to accept Polygyny as God’s will for your own life? I couldn’t imagine what mental anguish 1st wives are putting themselves through without a friend in the world to lean on. A Godly friend that won’t steer them away from the truth. God continues to bring what I need. I believe it is for the purpose of helping out other 1st wives on their journeys. I hope it blesses and encourages and to God be all the glory. 

Reblog: That Might Work for You, But Not My Marriage

I do not normally reblog entire articles, but usually provide a link. I am making an exception for this article because it encapsulates so well the reason why we must recapture the proper roles of men and women in marriage as God designed. The Torah pursuant community is so serious about learning and walking in God’s ways, but retain a huge blind spot regarding what the Bible actually says about marriage, men and women.

We will be held accountable for truth in this area because it is foundational to the Restoration of Kol Israel. Calendars, liturgy and minute details about the Torah throughout Scripture are meaningless if we get the roles of men and women and family structure wrong. Simply, Torah cannot be walked rightly if headship and patriarchy are not right at the very foundation.

Here is the complete article from BiblicalGenderRoles.com with a few of my comments at the end. While he supports most points from the Brit, everything is supportable from the Torah.

That Might Work for You, But Not My Marriage

November 13, 2019 / biblicalgenderroles

“BGR, (my wife and I refer to you as Bigger Guy, phonetically pronounced), Just a word of encouragement, we decided over a year ago to switch the dynamic of our marriage to a more Biblical approach. Your blog has inspired a lot of the changes that we have implemented. We were “happily married partners” for many years. Since the change, our marriage has grown and flourished like never before.

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Patriarchy, God’s Plan

Without question, the major battle right now in our culture is redefining gender roles. While this has been building for decades, we have arrived at the point that literally, everything gender related is being redefined. In one sense this is highly disturbing, but on another level it is not surprising at all. This complete flipping of the system is one of the final straws in the revelation that Western culture is a product of Greco-Roman paganism.

Most in the Hebrew roots movement already recognize and reject the pagan elements that have long been hidden within Christianity and have been sifted. But there is much more sifting to come, both for ourselves and our many brothers who are yet in the church system. We have not ‘arrived,’ rather we have simply answered the call in one area…. but, there is more if we are truly to submit ourselves to the whole counsel of God’s Word and seek the restoration of kol Israel.

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