We’ve had a real heat wave here in Indiana this summer. Due to retirement last fall, I’ve seen more sun and experienced the heat first hand while enjoying a lush garden and just being outdoors in general. But with the heat and lack of precipitation, watering has become a regular thing and it just takes as long as it takes. I really don’t mind that particular task, as I find it very therapeutic and it gives me an “excuse” for contemplation, prayer and praise.
It was one such morning last week that I began to think back to when I first found this little “farmette”consisting of an older farmhouse, four acres, and a beautiful hip roof barn wrapped in red metal. It had been a search of about 7 months before I found a property that met all my criteria and that I could actually afford. I was elated and thankful to the Father that everything had finally fallen into place for ME to own this little homestead. But little did I know my new adventure was pointing me towards a major spiritual paradigm shift.
I’ve had a lot of help developing this property in the last 4 years. I have two grown sons who have contributed to barn cleanout, fencing, gardening, drywall repair, etc. But the biggest contributor to the project has been my spiritual friend/brother/soulmate that I now call husband. When we first began brainstorming and envisioning projects, I must admit that I thought it was such a blessing to have someone with a similar passion willing to help me with MY goals and dreams. We had discovered that we worked very well together, and I was more than happy to defer to his experience in the areas of gardening and farming…for the most part. This is where some challenges began to crop up, bringing about that paradigm shift I mentioned earlier.
My old mind set, as an independent working woman, was to take full responsibility for “my” decisions and investment. I did give Yah thanks for answering prayers for a little place in the country that I could share with my family, but years of being single due to divorce had turned me into a “take charge” kinda gal. After all, momma had always told me, “You can do this!” But in the midst of the process, I was also learning deeper scriptural truths about headship, patriarchy, and submissiveness. In my times of introspection, study and prayer, I began to see how my attitude may have contributed to the failure of my first marriage. I also became more sensitive and knowledgeable about men in general, and began to seek change in how I related to my current husband.
I recently read an article by a blogger that, at first reading really set me back. It was titled “Does His Happiness Matter More Than Mine?” My first reaction was “of course not!” But the Spirit began to work in me, revealing the truth contained in the words of the article. If I truly believed that obedience to Messiah is manifested by my reverence and obedience to my husband, then I seriously had to re-think that response. After all, I am HIS help meet, not the other way around! Now granted, he is a wonderful man that helps me in so many ways, but that is because he takes husbandry seriously. So rather than focusing on my plans and goals, I’m asking the Father to teach me to focus on his. I am beginning to see that my legacy should not be about my personal accomplishments, but how I respected and served him in obedience to Messiah. It should be how I loved and taught my children and grandchildren, and how I served others in addition to my family. I am also beginning to understand that although my name may be on the mortgage, I need to diligently water and care for OUR garden and listen to his direction in the management of this household in general. I really believe to do so is pleasing to Yeshua and builds up the name and reputation of the Godly man that He has placed over me.