Please pull up a chair, grab a cup of coffee or tea, and a box of tissues. Oh, and if there is a stuffed animal or some such nearby, you may want that when you feel like throwing something. This is not going to be easy for you to hear, but you need to.
Let’s cut right to the chase, modern western feminist culture along with postmodern Christendom has lied to you. A lot! Ultimately, the lies come from the adversary, but culture and Christendom have been the mouthpiece and you have been the willful, even eager, participant absorbing and sharing the lies because they made you feel good. Now, culture and Christendom are a cancerous rot and everyone is afraid to lance the festering boil because it is painful and ugly, but healing and restoration can only come from addressing and correcting the problems.
I’ll roughly divide this into some major categories, but these all come from the same root lies.
Women, you don’t “own” ‘your man.’ He doesn’t belong to you. Never has. Never will. Period.
Culture has taught you that ‘your man’ belongs to you. Nothing could be further from the truth. He wasn’t created for you and his innate allegiance is not to you, nor should it ever be. Demanding his allegiance is to demand something that belongs exclusively to his Creator. He cannot serve two masters, therefore, you may not sit on the throne of his life.
You, on the other hand, were created for him. You were designed specifically to help him accomplish whatever responsibility Yah gave him! He is your leader and you are his helper.
In that vein, you are not his equal. Yes, you bring unique and necessary assets to the relationship, but that does not make you his equal. Rather, it means he has, in you, particular gifts and talents that he is to bring to bear on his purpose and mission. You have value and are valuable, but culture has inflated this perceived value far beyond what Scripture teaches. You are not a queen or princess, you have no throne and no one bows to you, least of all, your husband.
Speaking of ‘husband,’ that word comes from old English and means ‘master or steward of the house.’ The house belongs to him and you are part of that. In vinedressing, the husbandman’s job is to prune, tend, fertilize, and reap from his vines. Likewise, your husband is your master and he has the Biblical responsibility of pruning, tending, fertilizing, and reaping from you to produce fruit, both physical and spiritual. He is solely responsible to lead, teach, correct, and love you. And, he is to use – yes, I said USE – you to build his house.
Scripturally, a house is both a structure – the house I live in – and a group of descendants – the house of Jacob. There is no ‘house of Sarah’ or ‘house of Rachel.’ It doesn’t exist. Both the structure you live in and the family structure you are part of belong to the husband or master of the house. Both you and your children belong to your husband.
Western culture hates these ideas because it hates the Creator of these truths. Their father, the adversary, seeks to undermine these truths at every point because in doing so, he undermines the family and the man and flips Yah’s created order upside down. The adversary wants to invert the order and he uses the same line he used in the Garden of Eden, “hath God said?”
If you are still reading, you are likely pretty angry. Throw something, cry, give me the stink eye… doesn’t really matter. Your problem is not with me and I won’t shrink under your fiery glare. You problem is with Yah and yourself. Selah.
There is much more, but let’s keep moving.
Women, the same culture and emasculated Church that lied to you about relationships, also lied to you about ministry and ministry roles. You’ve been fed a litany of smooth and carefully crafted falsehoods and justifications that have culminated in the brazen anti-Scriptural teachings of Joyce Meyers, Aimee Byrd, Beth Moore, et. al. Now, even in the Messianic and Torahkeeping community we have loads of self appointed female ‘teachers.’
Scripture does say you can teach, but the parameters and places are very specific. Older women are to teach younger women within the limited scope of Titus 2:3-5. You are not to speak in the Assembly, and you are not to have authority over men at least in the area of Scripture and doctrine.
Your husband is your source for learning and growing. He may allow or direct you to particular sources, but that is his option and responsibility in his home. He is accountable for everything brought into and taught in his house. Wisdom says you should check with him first before following some white knight pastor or female ‘teachers’ into doctrinal falsehood or rebellion.
If you follow female ‘Torah teachers’ who cover anything beyond the Titus scope, stop! If you are teaching outside of that boundary, stop. Either circumstance is taking away from the men who are supposed to be leading in this area. And, to address somethng I heard the other day, your husband does not have the authority to ‘authorize’ you to teach men. Period.
Work / Occupation
If your husband allows or directs you to work outside of the home, then that is his choice. It is not your choice. Remember, you belong to him and are to help him in his mission and calling. If that mean keeping the home and teaching his children, then there is no higher job or calling.
Even the Proverbs 31 woman, a successful business woman in her own right, is operating under the authority of her husband and is bringing her talents and resources to bear for the good of his name/reputation and his house. Your first responsibility is bearing children and making his house into a home. According to his wisdom and guidance, seek to utilize your skills and abilities from the home to add income and assets without neglecting your most important duties of child rearing.
Previously mentioned, the children belong to your husband. Even common law bore this out until fifty years ago. Culture today assumes that the mother is more important and cares more than the father. Scripture bears the opposite. An orphan is a fatherless child, not a motherless child. Even secular culture recognizes this. Here is a powerful TEDTalk with a female divorce attorney who only represents men. She’ll tell you why children need their father more than their mother.
Women can’t raise men. Boys and girls need their fathers for proper development. The effeminate and weak western culture we live in is directly attributable to feminism’s destruction of men, fatherhood and masculinity. Women, your job is to help tend children while they are young and build up your husband to enable him as the trainer and leader for his children once they pass into the second decade of their lives. You are to honor and respect (Scripture says, ‘reverence’…) your husband as a model to your children and the world at large for how the Assembly reverences the Messiah. If you are disrespecting or dishonoring your husband, particularly in front of his children, STOP! That is sordid rebellion!
Women, your body belongs to your husband. You are his to enjoy anytime and anywhere he wants. If you are withholding or using your body as a bargaining chip, that is sin. Dress the way he wants you to and use -yes, that word again – USE your body to joyfully please him.
I hear from men all the time that once they were married their woman slowly stopped seeking or initiating sexual pleasure. This ought not be so. Take care of yourself physically. Dress up for him better and more often than you do for work. To be very clear and a bit crass, be an honorable lady in public and a slut in the bedroom!! You belong to him. Revel in that and enjoy messing with his mind while being the submitted woman Yah calls you to be. Initiate! Be spontaneous! Plan and make time for him and him only!! Have FUN!! You are his play toy, and vice versa!! (Men, if you are reading this, you have a responsibility to your woman, as well… and that includes taking care of yourself physically, too!)
Throw that crap in the trashcan. Repent and reject it!! 99 and 94/100ths of what feminism has taught you is diametrically opposed to Scripture. The feminist agenda comes from the pit of hell and violently opposes the Kingdom. The only solution is to completely and utterly reject it.
Scripture says that an uncovered woman, i.e., not under the protection of father or husband is in a state of shame and reproach. (There are a few extremely narrow caveats.)
Western culture is awash in ‘single independent women’, many divorced or separated. These ‘free radicals’ are a blight on the Assembly and the culture at large. Yah will not be mocked. The disaster outside our doors is a direct result of uncovered and rebellious women and the men who are afraid to speak the truth.
If you are a single woman, understand several things:
First, you are part of the problem. That is the unvarnished truth. If you are divorced and you see in yourself the problems revealed in the early parts of this article, repent and then go back to your husband, especially if you initiated the divorce. At the very least, after you repent and seek his forgiveness, you have to give him the rightful option to take you back and get it right.
Second, if you are a ‘career woman’ or chasing the almighty dollar, STOP! Your ladder is on the wrong wall and Yah cares not for your success, He desires your obedience. You were not created for career or operation outside of a proper covering. Choosing to stay there is rebellion. Period.
Third, begin seeking Yah for a Godly man. DO NOT settle for less, but understand that HIS provision may not look like what you have been taught. This may be hard for your princess ears to hear, but Scripture removes your every excuse that there are not enough good or Godly men out there. Here’s a golden quote sure to open doors and rattle cages…
I would rather be third in line of a good man than the only wife of a jerk….”
“….In the polygamous society of the Bible, adultery is defined as sexual intercourse between a man (whether married or unmarried) and a woman married to someone else. In biblical times, most societies allowed men to marry more than one …Live: Dr. Laura Schlessinger
Nothing has changed regarding Biblical truth, only the monogamy-only proclivities of Greco-Romanism, imported into Christendom. Study the truth and what God’s Word does and doesn’t actually say.
Fourth, reread and even study the earlier parts of this post. Identify the rebellious lies of feminism that have taken root in your heart and begin to dig them out!!
This is a hard read. Few made it this far and most of those that have are planning my funeral. But, seriously, as hard as these truths are, embracing and addressing them in totality leads to life, peace, joy, and good fruit. You, YOU, will be happier and much more fulfilled when you choose to bring your whole being – body, mind, and spirit – into conformity with the truth of Yah’s Word. Quit negotiating the price. Quit hoping for an easier path. Quit thinking Yah isn’t really serious about HIS authority structure and plan for how man and woman are designed and created to act and interact. The sooner you give up your own and the adversary’s machinations, the sooner you will find the life you really want in your inmost being.
I do pray Yah bless and guide you. May He reveal Himself in greater measure as you study and prove the many hard truths found here, and may He shut the mouths of those who speak smooth and flattering words that are contrary to His everlasting and unchanging Word.
Brachot v’shalom, b’shem Yehsua!
9 thoughts on “Women, some hard truths most men are afraid to tell you…”
Nothing about any of this, reflects any knowledge into any of the cultures into which these rules were given, nor is there any common sense allowed, in how to apply them today with moderation (you know. As we were told to do all things.) I love God. This isn’t His teaching. This is garbage intended to belittle women.
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Most of this stuff should not even need to be said … and that’s a direct reflection of the state of things in our modern society.
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So true. Reminds me of places in Scripture where Yah tells Israel through the prophets ‘I gave you (a thousand) precepts, but you considered them a strange thing…’.. we hear truth and consider it foreign because we are so far from His ways.
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As hard as it is to say but you are right on and we men will be held responsible for allowing it to happen….and who do you think will be your biggest adversary, besides Satan him self.?..that’s right….the woman.?..its time to get it right
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As someone who actually does know a thing or two about the language, the culture, and the law/ Torah. Plus as a promoter of biblical patriarchy. A good majority of this is not true. We do not go to the new testament to justify a doctrine, see Deuteronomy-4:2- Do not add, and do not diminish from the commands in the Torah.
Folks who have something meaningful to share, have never been known to be the ones who begin with “As a….”
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I know this is late by several months, but I only come to read once in a while to see what you have written. It’s in the details … the little things with which our reputation and HIS is known. We can do many big things, but miss the little things and the big things are forgotten.
Slattern: a dirty, untidy woman
,the root of ‘Slut’.
Slut: a woman with many sexual partners
,an immoral or dissolute woman
,a dirty, slovenly woman
,a woman with many sexual partners with no emotional involvement
,a woman of loose sexual morals – promiscuous
If you prefer your (a man’s) ‘woman’ to act like a ‘slut’ in the bedroom what are you really saying or what is really being communicated?
If you want to have a great sexual relationship with your woman do you want her to be a ‘slut’; act like a ‘slut’; look like a ‘slut’?
Which meaning are you preferring?
Dirty, slovenly …
Immoral dissolute …
Many sexual partners …
loose morals / promiscuous …
In your relationship with your ‘woman’ that is to be a representation of the Messiah and HIS bride
to the rest of the world around you … which do believe the Messiah would prefer your bride (HIS bride)
to be known as?
Dirty, slovenly, immoral, many sexual partners, loose morals, promiscuous …
Aren’t all of those definitions of Israel in its rebellion towards YHWH and Yeshua?
In your desire to promote what you believe that the Torah says and allows you couldn’t come up with a
better term to help women realize how they should be pleasing (and want to be pleasing) to their ‘head’? (yes, I know you said, ‘… and a bit crass’)
How many women do you believe actually read this stuff you have written?
And in your hope of them reading it what kind of reaction would you expect from them to this?
Male and female he created ‘them’ (from him)(no really from HIM).
Washed, cleansed, rubbed with oil, nakedness covered, bejewelled and dressed in a beautiful gown prepared for betrothal
and a wedding feast … to be asked to act like a ‘slut’ …
I cannot picture Yeshua waiting anxiously for the day of His return to be told by His ABBA (whom He is echad with) , ‘GO get her, son’ and Him (Yeshua) thinking – ‘whoo hoo I’m off to get my bride and I cannot wait to get into the bridal chamber, so she can act like a slut’.
I am not commenting about your position/belief on what the Torah says or doesn’t say.
I am stating that I do not believe that HE asked you to write what you wrote concerning this categorization.
That this was straight from your flesh (your zeal and excitement) in your desire to state to women what you believe is true.
Does your woman know that this is how you’d describe her?
And do you believe that it should matter to her?
Would you ask a brother if his wife acts like a slut?
love you my brother …
Thank you for your reply. There is much to be considered here. In the context of the whole paragraph, I stand by what I wrote and would defend it in the following ways.
1. In the bedroom, he and she should be free to enjoy each other with wreckless abandon. Unfortunately, Christendom has demonized sexuality to the point that Puritanical thought binds many women from pursuing their man in the way Yah designed passion to work. The Song of Solomon is far more racy than many Christian bedrooms, and it shouldn’t be…
2. Our worship of YHVH and His Messiah should be the wreckless abandon that parallels man and woman in the bedroom. The same cool/stoic behavior of some bedrooms is the cool/stoic behavior witnessed in fellowships and congregations worshiping. In both cases, the Bride, casting herself on her M/master should be far more passionate.
3. Paul describes the coming of the Messiah AS ‘a thief in the night.’ Does that make the Messiah a thief or does that describe effectively how it would appear to an observer? The wife IS not a slut, but that word effectively communicate HOW she should act toward her husband in the privacy of their bedroom.
So, I understand your thoughts, but I stand by my wording unless you can provide a better word to communicate the passion she should exude at his presence.
Tom, it seems that you may have missed, intentionally or otherwise, the point of his comparison.
It is: that, these days, only promiscuous women are behaving in the bedroom, as every woman ought.
He did not write: live as a slut. Rather, he wrote: In the bed, behave and perform as well as only promiscuous women are doing, nowadays.
She must act with abandon, and open-ness and freedom and carnality… and most of all, not holding anything, any pleasure, back from her man.
There certainly is a time and place for women to be what we would call “lady-like”. But, there is no place for women to restrict the pleasures of- and the offering of herself, totally, to- her lord, in private.
We might well note, that when it comes time for truly holy matters, He commands us that for three day “Go not near a woman”. There’s a time for the holy, and there’s a time for the common. The two ought not to be conflated. And, what is good for the one, is bad for the other.
It is a shame upon our religious culture and institutions, that the best example of women who do well and act appropriately for a man, in the bedroom… the best ones to whom we can point for examples… are the sluts. The slatterns. The loose women.
Yet, I think that was, more, the comparison that he was providing.
As far as your question of whether the Son will hope that his bride acts like a slut; well, if you and I are being honest with one another and with ourselves, we might well admit that sometimes he might wish (for all I know) that we were as zealous for Him, and as given over to him, in abandon… as the pagans and spiritual “sluts” are for their gods or their goddesses, or their witchcraft, etc. I cannot be sure about that.
May his name be honored and glorified and set apart.
Shalom to each of you.
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