Paradigm shifts are hard. Sometimes we suddenly ‘see’ it intellectually, but still need to overcome cultural or doctrinal baggage. In a recent conversation, I discussed ‘three to five word truth bombs’ for the purpose of ‘reprogramming’ or ‘overcoming attacks of the adversary.’
I want to share some of these and hope the reader will comment with some more! The idea is to use these on yourself as necessary, or with a healthy dose of love and grace, say them to your spouse.
Her, to herself, or properly rephrased, to him:
I LOVE him.
I belong to him.
He is not mine.
I am his.
He belongs to Messiah.
He is my head.
He is my authority.
God gave me TO him.
His vision, not mine.
I cannot control him.
I cannot manipulate him.
He is responsible.
I am obedient to him.
Him, to himself, or properly rephrased, to her.
I LOVE her.
She belongs to me.
I don’t belong to her.
She does not own me.
I am the head.
Messiah is MY head.
My vision, my calling.
I refuse to be manipulated.
I refuse to be controlled.
God gave her TO me.
I am responsible.
I am obedient to Messiah.
Such phrases, properly used, will help in spiritual and mental reprogramming. Caution must be taken though for the man when speaking to his woman that he not be nor sound arrogant. Some of these thoughts are best kept and said internally. These “truth bombs” will help the man transition into alpha masculinity and enable the woman to battle jealousy and other negative emotions while learning to remain humble.
We pray these help you in your journey to walk out what Scripture says for proper male-female relationships in a marriage.
An interesting blog post crossed my feed the other day. At least the first half of it was really interesting, more on that in a minute….
The following (half) post copied from Move From This Mountain has some valuable pieces of insight regarding headship and patriarchy. Of particular interest is the author’s assertion, which I believe correct, that men must deal with men. Or, put another way – Men innately know that women do not have authority over them.
John Paul II was a highly educated man, and I’m sure he was aware of the rich feudal history of chivalry in the Middle Ages. In the picture above, a maiden is tying her favor on the arm of her chosen knight who is preparing to joust in her honor.
According to one site the “Song of Roland” contained a version of the Code of Chivalry.
Fear God and His Church
Serve the liege lord in valor and faith
Protect the weak and defenseless
Live by honor and for glory
Respect the honor of women
Combining the third and fifth elements in this list results in a knight upholding the dignity of a woman, as John Paul II succinctly says.
What might be the dignity of a woman? Well, in general, women do not possess the same physical attributes of strength and physical capacity to do hard labor, nor do they usually possess the aggressiveness of the male half of mankind. The sexual crime of rape combines aggressiveness and physical overpowering of the weaker victim. Certainly, a knight or any honorable man should protect a woman from sexual assault.
Another way a man can protect the dignity of a woman is for a father to not allow his daughter to become a prostitute.
None of the daughters of Israel shall be a cult prostitute
One of the consequences of widowhood, especially for the aged, is that the woman is often at the mercy of con artists or easily becomes deceived by fraudsters. Here, protecting the widow is certainly a high calling for any man, a modern-day knight. YHVH Himself has said that He is a Judge for the widow and orphan.
A father of the fatherless and a judge for the widows, Is God in His holy habitation.
Today, we have elite soldiers who operate in one of several branches of the Special Forces instead of knights. They swear to defend the United States Constitution. But that doesn’t mean that every man who serves YHVH cannot follow much the same code of chivalry. I could rewrite the Code contained in the Song of Roland to one more appropriate of a 21st century Hebrew man among the hosts of YHVH.
Fear YHVH and honor His Name
Serve your master or employer in faithfulness and truth
I read an excellent blog post by Eric Conn that left me a bit breathless and pining for more. It was titled Why Men Need A Gang. So much rang true that I immediately had to…
Today, I want to talk about gangs! That’s right…GANGS!
And, I don’t mean the criminal element, but instead, simply – a group of highly bonded men who are working and fighting together toward a common goal.
I want to talk about why men need a brotherhood ~ cause you DO! ~ why you need a fraternity of other men to sharpen you, spur you on to action, and encourage you in the weighty task of taking dominion…”
About a week ago, I read an excellent blog post by Eric Conn that left me a bit breathless and pining for more. It was titled Why Men Need A Gang. So much rang true that I immediately had to leave a comment on his blog. I meant to write some thoughts about that post, but was glad I hadn’t when a friend alerted me that Eric had posted a podcast expounding on the topic.
Men! You must read the post and listen to the podcast!! Excellent insight and challenge to take intentional and measurable steps in the direction of creating a gang.
Boys do not become men in a vacuum. Culturally, the expectation is that boys become men by virtue of age or osmosis, however such is not the case. Manhood requires intentionality.
What a weekend!!
The men in the home fellowship I help lead have been discussing masculinity and manhood, so we decided to take our sons on a weekend hiking trip in a wilderness area with a very challenging day hike planned for Saturday. We bit off a very rewarding mouth full and came home exhausted, but having learned a great deal.
Boys do not become men in a vacuum. Culturally, the expectation is that boys become men by virtue of age or osmosis, however such is not the case. Raising men, particularly Godly men, requires intentionality. I could spend a whole series of posts on this aspect alone, but I want to share a bit about steps the men in our fellowship have assumed for our sons.
The adversary, ole Slewfoot, is all about destroying Creation. He attacks in many different ways and from multiple directions, not the least of which is trying to destroy the differences in the sexes. We see this in the LBGTQXYZ v. ‘cisgender’ battle in culture today. Another recently addressed avenue of attack is androgyny. In fact, the attacks are limitless and myriad from soft egalitarianism or complementarianism to hardcore feminism and matriarchy.
One area that is regularly attacked is the obvious differences in men end women in how they think, act, and are physically constructed. If the enemy can destroy those differences, he can undermine the very purposes for which each was created.