I took a little trip to Houston to spend a few days with my daughter this week. The sudden shift from the overcast skies and blustery chilly winds of Indiana to sun and 78 degrees was such a treat! We were quite busy running around the outskirts of the city checking off her “to do” list, meeting friends, and seeing places I had only heard her talk about. But I did get a little down time to just relax in front of You Tube and Chromecast while staying at her cute apartment. I stumbled across a few short news documentaries that I thought were worthy of my time, so I watched and pondered. Two of the stories focused on real life accounts of several Saudi women who had managed to escape their prison-like existences covered in black from head to toe, while always having a male escort by their side. These particular women were not just ordinary citizens, but all were somehow related to the royal family and ruling class. The lengths that the men would go to to bring back “their women”, usually daughters, was the stuff nightmares are made of. Another short film covered the practice of Kyrgystani men literally kidnapping girls and young women to marry against their wills. Sadly, it was not uncommon for some of the victim “brides” to commit suicide in order to escape a life that they had no say in.

I think stories like these are what most people, women in particular, envision when the subject of patriarchy comes up. And then of course, there are also certain religious sects here in the US that practice patriarchy or polygyny, but not for what most would consider Biblical reasons. This can make it very challenging to have a productive conversation regarding Biblical family structure. So how do we go about broaching this subject, or defending the Biblical model to our families and faith communities? A couple of my favorite sayings come to mind; “don’t throw the baby out with the bath water” and “chew on the meat and spit out the bones”. We must be apologists! And we must shine the light of truth on these errant philosophies and religions that would support this kind of atrocious behavior.

Not too long ago, I defended patriarchy and plural marriage to a friend that tended to lump it all together with Mormonism, Islam, etc. This friend was Torah pursuant so I felt we had a common foundation. I simply stated that the ideas were very Biblical and like Torah, I felt that they were applicable to our day. I continued by pointing out that the error lay with the false doctrines and belief systems, and not with the practices of Biblical marriage. I pray we continue to bravely dive into these opportunistic discussions within our circles, and diligently separate truth from deception. And may we continue to fellowship and support those that hear the Father calling them to courageously step up and live counter to our Godless culture!

I recently came across a blog post that I read a long time ago. It was as good as I remember it!

Full of nuggets and Scriptural truth, I’d like to draw attention to one major point that Larry makes towards the end of the post. We cannot be ashamed of the words of our Messiah no matter how counter cultural and how uncomfortable it is to or for us.

Mark 8:38 NASB For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will also be ashamed of him when He comes in the glory of His Father with the holy angels.”

Larry’s topic is about sexism in the Bible. I sent it to several like minded friends. Here are their replies:

“Good read I’d have to agree with most every thing he said .”

Ryan

“Article is an excellent read… I’ve read some of his stuff before, but after this one I’ve actually subscribed to the page now. Thanks for sharing. 💪 “

“Excellent article on BGR.”

Pete

I have copied and pasted the entire post as we will likely reference and interact with it in the near future. The original is here.

Why Christians Should Be Proud Sexists

DECEMBER 28, 2017 / BIBLICALGENDERROLES

This last Thanksgiving I was visiting with my in-laws.  During that visit I made this statement to my sister-in-law “Yes mam, I am a proud sexist!” Why would I say such a thing? Isn’t being a sexist inconsistent with Christian values?

Continue reading “I Will not be Ashamed of Messiah’s words.”

Several days ago, I first read Pete Rambo’s article on this site entitled “Does God Hate Women”. Like the author, it challenged me to look at the subjects of patriarchy, covering, polygyny etc. in a totally different light. It sort of reminded me of when the Spirit began to draw me to the idea of foster care and adoption, but I’ll explain that connection a little later on…

I think all of us struggle during our spiritual journey with the idea “does God really love me?” Before we really get serious about studying scripture, and I mean researching the original languages and meanings, we tend to filter everything through the culture we live in. Our everyday experiences along with the ways in which we were reared, really cloud our comprehension of the written Word. And let’s not forget that, unlike how I was taught, our English versions often have a bias or agenda as well. With that being said, it is no wonder that our “solid doctrines” can actually mislead and hinder us from fully grasping the concept of YHVH’s loving care and purpose for us!

As the sole female author here (at least at this point), I thought it important to respond to some of these “new” ideas put forth on this blog. I was like most women when I first encountered some of these paradigm shifts in God’s plan and provision for women. Initially, they seemed very archaic and oppressive…definitely not “freeing”! But this little Voice whispered to me, “Aren’t you always promoting going back to the ancient ways of following Me?” Well….where does one draw the line? I mean literally?

As previously disclosed in my first article, I have personally experienced divorce and single motherhood. Sometimes those years seem like a blur because I was so focused on the task at hand, namely to financially provide for myself and 3 children, as well as trying to fulfill the roles of both mother and father (totally impossible) that everything else seemed very peripheral. Now let me be VERY clear, Yah was so very faithful to care for us during that entire time, even though the circumstances were far from ideal. I had a wonderful support system in my parents, and a good paying job was a gift straight from the Father. But as you can imagine, it totally wore me out and my children were shortchanged.

There were very few opportunities to have any kind of social life outside of church attendance. And as for “dating”, many obstacles existed to make that a non issue for me. I had pondered and prayed, and realized that the root of all the chaos in the previous marriage was a lack of deep spirituality and understanding of headship on the part of my ex. Not that I was innocent; I see that now, but the dynamic of our relationship was deeply flawed. I was prayerfully determined not to make that mistake again. And then the few solid believing men I did encounter were, of course, married or avoided “divorced women with children” like the plague! So I resigned to raising my children the best I knew how, trusting Yah to fill in the gaping holes.

After my boys had reached adulthood and my daughter was nearly through high school, I experienced that HUGE paradigm shift commonly referred to in our circle as the Torah Awakening. I was suddenly “thirstier” than I had ever been for the Word, focusing on the Tanach and the ancient ways. Over the next several years, new (to me) ways of looking at God, Messiah, culture, etc. began to emerge and I questioned everything. Women covering their heads as I had seen in the Orthodox Jewish and Anabaptist sects of Christianity still puzzled me. Many women in the Torah movement often discussed this subject, and while I saw both sides, I couldn’t really nail down what I thought about it. A different perspective on “covering” regarding headship came onto my radar, and I went down that path seeking a clearer understanding. Yahweh began to reveal to me the beauty of his provision for His daughters…the light flipped on! A couple of others in this walk that I regarded as mentors and whose words I highly respected began to see these things as well, confirmation that I, by the grace of Yah was onto Truth.

But, while headship is often talked about in certain Christian and Torah communities, other aspects of patriarchy are more challenging. What parts do we keep? And which parts do we toss, saying “now that’s going too far”. I personally have come to the conclusion that we can’t pick and choose, that it ALL applies! Even polygyny, God forbid?! Yes, I believe that polygyny is a valid and even loving resolution to many of the predicaments of both men AND women. Is it required or a measurement of spirituality, as some errant sects teach? No, of course not. But it certainly is NOT sin, according to scripture. And it may even be a calling!

Now I promised to relate this whole personal understanding to my calling to be a foster parent. When I initially felt that the Spirit was speaking to me about foster care, there were a thousand logical reasons not to pursue it. It was a lot of work, it was way out of my comfort zone and skill level, my family was against it, I could have my heart broken, it could have a profound affect on my own children, etc. etc. And while all this was true, the bottom line was “Is this what God is calling me to? Will I follow Him and not what everyone around me is saying, though it may sound like wise counsel?” In every true thing, there will be adversity…lots of it. But courage in obedience, despite the struggles will always result in blessing beyond our imaginations. God desires to show us His love in it’s deepest, highest, and purest form! Where we are confused and unsure of His care and love for us, it most often is a result of our incomplete understanding of His culture. While we will never fully “get it”, He encourages us to continually seek Him and His ways, and His love will never disappoint!

 

I’ll just come right out and say it…I was raised in a matriarchal family. And since my mom was a pretty smart lady and I was the oldest of 3 daughters and no sons, I thought that was pretty cool as I was growing up. We girls were encouraged to pursue our dreams, set goals, have confidence, and above all let NO ONE hold you back or tell you that you can’t do something! Of course, the driving force behind all this cheerleading was my mother and, to be quite honest, her ways were pretty typical of the all-American mom. Mom passed on just over a year ago, and I have done a lot of remembering and processing since then.

My mother was just 17 when my father and she married. He was in the navy and they met when he was “in on leave”. I don’t really recall how long their actual courtship lasted, but I do know that he proposed and pressured her to make a trip to the courthouse before he left again for foreign waters. Later, she would say that his motivation for the rush was that he was afraid she wouldn’t be there, aka available, when he returned. He would sheepishly agree that she was probably right. It was almost a total of 3 years before they would actually live together as a couple on a base in El Centro California, far from the hills of southwest Virginia and any family support. Pictures that I have from that time in their lives reveal an apartment with few furnishings, along with a grassless yard. Money was beyond tight, as was typical for military families at the time, yet dad had a difficult time imagining a better life after the navy. And so began the dynamic between my parents.

I describe my dad as loving, but extremely passive. Though he was 5 plus years older than my mom, he lacked confidence and vision. As an adult looking at the big picture of his dysfunctional upbringing, I understand why. But growing up in a family where mom was running the show because dad just really didn’t know how, sent many mixed signals and caused much confusion, especially when sermons on the family entered the mix.

We weren’t consistently churched as I was growing up. I refer to our attendance at various small Southern Baptist congregations and subsequent spiritual growth as “spurty”. In my late teens I became curious and hungry beyond what the pastors’ answers could satisfy so sought scriptural truth on my own. Throughout those years, mom and dad carried on as usual, making a living and raising a family in the best way “they” knew how. But there was growing resentment and bitterness in their relationship. Mom resented him for not stepping up and taking the lead, and he grew more sullen and quiet as time went on. As I became more and more aware of just what God’s Word had to say regarding headship and the proper roles of man and wife, I contemplated their marriage and wondered if it all could have been turned around. Where did it all go wrong for them? “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?” And more importantly, who should change first? I seriously did not have the answer to that.

All of us girls eventually married, without much of a clue as to what to look for in a husband. To some degree, we each made some of the same mistakes our parents made…go figure. My husband and I divorced, and one of my sisters married and divorced twice. Looking back, the same dynamics to some extent ruled our failed relationships. I would say we were fearful of submitting due to lack of trust in our husbands to lead, due to their lack of trust in the One who would lead them. But I am learning! As my faith and understanding in this area continues to grow, I have graciously been given an opportunity to get it right…a “do-over” you might say. May He continue to lead us all in His ways, for they are always best!

by Brian S. Somers

This is the third entry in the “Vignettes of Patriarchy” series.

Centuries have passed since Adam’s Fall. Mankind has been fruitful and multiplied, though not without some tragic episodes such as the fratricide by Cain against his brother Abel, or Lamech’s killing of a teenager or young man. Then, in the fifth chapter of Genesis, Moses wrote the second “this is the book of generations of” זה ספר תולדת (zeh sepher toldot); the first time was the record of the creation during Creation Week. This genealogical record illuminates something that I think bears emphasis before we continue onto Noah himself.

Patriarchy is about a man being responsible for his family in his generation. But every man has a heritage of fathers backwards into time to Noah, and beyond him to Adam, and may be blessed with a similar heritage in descendants in sons and daughters forward into time. The past is fixed, but the present choices determines much about what the future will be, while the ultimate end thereof is known only to YHVH. Therefore, a genealogical record connects us with the past, with the decisions made by previous patriarchs that informing present-day men and fathers in their decision-making with an eye to the future. Not every man will be great in his generation, but he may have a great ancestor and/or a great descendant. Every human since the Flood is descended from Noah, and to him we now turn.

“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose, by any other word would smell as sweet.” 

– William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

In the days prior to launching this blog, we already had several teachings ready to go, with several more in the pipeline; there was no lack of content, and we all had a fairly clear idea how we would all contribute to this project to see it take flight. It was a fairly smooth, seamless process, with just one small snag: we didn’t have a name. As a leadership team, we deliberated over group chat, quite extensively, what to call this new ministry which we had intended to build together. Although there never was a clear consensus, someone suggested the name “11:3 Restoration,” based on 1 Corinthians 11:3, in which the apostle Paul writes,

“But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ.”

1 Corinthians 11:3 (NASB)

I objected.

Continue reading “11:3 Restoration: What’s in a Name?”