April 15th, 2020 Wednesday
Dear Sister Wife,
I am in THAT PLACE AGAIN. That awful, depressing place where I feel completely alone and even betrayed. Why do these feelings come and go? Is it because I’m conjuring up ideas into my head and trying to manipulate a situation for my gain? Like trying to get Matthew to stop thinking these plural marriage ideas. Or am I forgetting that I have past baggage? Real true-life baggage that needs work? I REALLY need to know, and I can’t even answer my own question cause it’s so dark here.
….Hours later. 3 pm now. Earlier much earlier, Matthew helped talk to me to calm me through Facebook messenger. He made me feel loved. I actually felt better maybe an hour to an hour and a half or two at longest from where I started this morning. Know what? That’s a record. I’m kinda proud of that. Matthew is on his way home, and he asked me if I wanted to go mushroom foraging with him this evening. I’m not a huge mushroom foraging lover, but I love being with my wonderful man. And I love any kind of exercise I can get these chilly days.
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