Jessie’s Journal: Coming Out

I recently joined a Christian polygamy forum that have open discussions about plural marriage. I asked a few times for advice on specific topics, I addressed this in the form of a  “Coming out” post, where I asked how I should go about doing this. Many people suggested I keep my mouth shut until a sister wife was in the foreseeable future. This would keep me from unnecessary hurt in case it never happened. I understand that standpoint, I also know that it was mine and my husband’s desire to let people know who we are and where we stand and how far we stand on God’s word. The topic is much more profound than what a pastor is expected to preach behind the pulpit. Regardless of the denomination, we should read the scriptures in order to find the truth. So, I did what any impatient woman does, I opened up to only a few people I felt I needed to, then I went back onto the forum and wrote this response to my original post.

 “So, I know I asked for advice on coming out, but I ended up doing my own thing anyway. Typical girl move, huh? Lol. Though I did decide to keep it to a minimal amount of people. People in my life that I thought were FOR ME, never against me. I told a Christian individual that warms a pew, a non-christian individual that has a wife with a very gay best friend, and an open-minded “backsliding” (according to the baptist faith) Christian in general if you will. I’m talking about what God’s will for me and my hubby’s life consists of. Plural Marriage. The reason I shared with a few is because of my sincere trust and love I have for them. They love me too, why wouldn’t I share my life journey now, so they know what is to come if or when it happens. Let’s not have my close circle freak out later when they can get used to the idea now. I wanted to share my revelation of how modern church doctrine had twisted the scriptures in order to mold a congregation into what another human pastor teaches, simply because that was what he was taught. I believed that these people would want to know what I know and learn what I learned and how I got to this point of thinking. To understand why I think it is biblical, why I would “Allow” my husband to take on another wife. None of these questions were brought to my attention as I thought they would be. Long story short, my do anything for his little girl father, completely stopped talking to me after telling me I must think I know better than every Baptist pastor. Then my non Christian brother said “You do you, but for honesty’s sake as soon as your husband finds another wife I will never respect him for cheating on you even if it was permissible by you” and lastly the other brother and sister-in-law (the open-minded lefty backsliders) were the most supportive as I pretty much assumed they would be. After all this went down I thought “Well for sheets and giggles why not ask another individual from my husband’s past with whom he had passing conversations with many years ago even before I came along” guess what? He KNEW the word, and he is in it to win it for the kingdom. Praise the Lord! We were floored with what knowledge was spoken to us; it was God speaking through him. We needed those words of encouragement that were very welcoming. However, on the flip-side the eye-opening moments are the not so kind moments I welcome as well. I know now that God is only for us not against us, and for his namesake, we press on come hurt and trials and tribulation. I love my man with all my heart; he is my King, and my heart desire is to please him, alone, -or- with whomever God brings into our future. Yes, this hurts so so deeply, maybe I should have stayed quiet, but I am actually glad I didn’t. I will be stronger because it makes me want to dig deeper and hold on tighter to God’s word.”

Click here to see all entries in Jessie’s Journal.

One thought on “Jessie’s Journal: Coming Out”

  1. Hello Jessie
    I can’t imagine what you went through to reach this level.
    I’m sure it was not easy.
    I happy to see that there women who truly love God and would follow his ways. As women we are driven by our emotions.
    I am encouraging and reading this, I tell myself there’s still hope.
    1 Co 11:3 is something not taught in churches; but it is very important for us women to know this, to know our position in the family and understand that the wife is not equal to the husband.
    May the Lord bless you greatly

    Liked by 1 person

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